I wrote this over 5 years ago and realized it was in DRAFT mode.....
20 some years in web development. I love what I do but as I get older, I don't do what I love. I find myself dealing with more people, egos and conflicts.
Becoming a Senior Developer, the expectation from others that I have noted is that you have matured in...who the fuck knows. The definition of maturity and seniority is so obscure and confusing to me.
That simple paradigm is not quite possible anymore. I have to find a way to cope with people with whom I do not like, care not for their concerns, and ultimately, am actually quite dissatisfied with how they perform. I am not an ego-maniac, I just believe in the "walk your talk" idea and I have strong feelings that those around me fall short. But I also praise exceptional performance. Perhaps my expectations or perception are jaded somehow, I don't know.
I have a lot of pride and ownership in everything I do. I find solutions for even the most complex issues; I find simple solutions for complex issues. Perhaps it is my experience that allows me to do that but for some reason, being just a "developer" doesn't gain the right level of respect that I believe it is worth.
Yeah, it's just a job. Work might as well be a four letter word as I am working everyday to find the happiness when others want to bring me down; such a conundrum.
Not sure if it is life or programming in general but dealing with people is really awful and not fun.
With so many different opinions, behaviors and emotions, it is just too much for me - I just want to build cool web applications without dealing with child-like adults that appear to me to have schizophrenia and bi-polar disorders.
Not stressed, just tired of talking to adults as if they are children.
2019
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I don't feel this way anymore. I have realized how judgmental that I have been in life expecting so much from from others. I have changed my perspective and am much happier.
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